Lockdown Musings #1 and #2

Lockdown has brought about a massive change in the way we live at the moment in the UK. One exercise a day outside, 2m apart from everyone, pretty much every shop, restaurant and leisure outlets closed and essential travel only. To add to this new normal, I am also on sick leave having had a major op on the 2nd March, and had been for two weeks by the time lockdown came into place.

Since, hopefully, this will be the only time we will ever have a lockdown in my lifetime. I thought I would document some thoughts and feelings on my blog.

Lockdown week one

The first week of lockdown I found more and less ok. I did feel really down on the Monday. Partly because on the Monday I felt terrible and spent half of it with my head down a toilet but I had more and less been in the house for two weeks at that point and was looking forward to booking a holiday (I desperately want to go to Cuba!) and going out to Shoal Hill and celebrating getting that bloody cyst out. The realisation I will be in the house for much longer really got me down. I rang my friend and that cheered me up.

For the rest of the week, due to recovering I could only go for short walks and I felt quite rough anyway so spent a lot of it just sleeping and laying down trying to rest as much as possible. I listened a lot to Eye of the Storm and finished reading The Librarian of Auschwitz. The weather was really nice so I could spend a lot of time resting outside on the seating we have out all year in my garden.

My mind was also still in the ‘I am making the most of my second chance’. I have written more about about my ovarian cyst. But I had a very lucky escape and it could have been so much worse than it was. Therefore I couldn’t understand why people saw it being such an issue to stay at home. I am so determined not to be back in hospital having just left the place three weeks ago!

The first week was where I was watching the Coronavirus updates on the BBC which I renamed ‘The Daily Dose of Misery’. I had to say I thought they were really useful even if a bit depressing. I gave up partway through the week watching them and just tuned into the BBC news site afterwards to make sure I got the information that I needed to know.

Friends and family also started to tell me that they had come down with covid symptoms which was sad to hear and bringing home the fact that anyone can catch this virus anywhere. I also started to limit my phone use quite considerably. I felt frustrated that because I am not well I cannot help with any volunteering at the moment. I stopped all notifications more and less on my phone. Deleted tonnes of apps and went as far as putting my phone on airplane mode for large parts of the day because it was really getting me down and I wanted to focus on getting myself well.

That week was the week I was discovering more and more on Instagram. Lots of creatives, offering lots of free things on Instagram live. I tuned into Little Boots (one of my favourite artists) singing at her parent’s house. I saw Jessie Cave and her sister doing a small skit. I also saw on twitter that the Royal Shakespeare Company will be putting six of their plays on the BBC Iplayer which I cannot wait to watch. I felt that if I play my cards right I could actually learn something in the lockdown.

Second week in lockdown

The second week I was feeling the effects of spending effectively four weeks inside my house. I was certainly more irritable. I discovered Tiger King, How to Fix a Drug Scandal and Unorthodox. Me and James are binge watching Better Call Saul. I found tiktok hilarious. I started to read Chris Carter – The Executioner. I rang and messaged quite a few people. I also joined the work Facebook group that is set up to keep people together. I am slowly getting through the Mindfulness colouring book that was given to me as a get well soon present.

I was also really breathless. Not Covid but I think I am badly anaemic which wouldn’t surprise me after the op. Therefore I have taken to eating as many mixed beans and dark green veggies that I can, iron tablets have been purchased online (funnily enough I do take Vitamin C and Iron everyday but just happened to run out of both this week!). Again I couldn’t walk far and even talking at times I really struggled and it was hacking me off. I ended up resting a lot, I think it is my body’s way of saying slow down. My hands are drying out with all the washing. It does make me wonder – did I really wash my hands properly before!

I was walking as part of my one exercise a day. To me this walk even if it is down the street is so important because I literally cannot go to the shops. To hear the government could ban it makes me quite cross that the minority are spoiling it for the majority. Healthcare professionals literally putting their lives on the front line for this and they don’t want people in there because they were lounging on the beach on a Saturday.

However what has also made me cross is the number of dogs not on their leads when people are close by. It is bad enough when a dog runs up to you and the owner doesn’t even apologise and goes ‘he/she is alright!’ that person could be terrified of dogs! If a dog runs up to you and stays then it takes the owner to pull the dog off you. That would mean flouting the 2m rule. It is not hard to keep dogs on the lead!

Tomorrow is meant to be the final week of lockdown which everyone probably knows it is going to be extended. I reckon we will be in lockdown for two months. Next week brings my 29th birthday and my last full week of sick leave.

How are you finding the lockdown?

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