I recently was sent Happier Thinking* to review. In the past I have reviewed self help books such as How to make a decision and The Defining Decade and I do love a good self help book so was looking forward to reading this book. Happier Thinking is a short book (50 pages!) providing techniques and tips to help turn negatives into positives.
Happier Thinking is not a scientific book, and Lana does not claim to be a scientist. The book is written from her experience attending mindfulness classes, therapy and reading. The techniques she shares are techniques Lana has found helped her. The chapters are short and succinct, I like this, as other self help books can get so bogged down in the science you have to read half a chapter before a point is made. The book is handbag sized as well which is handy if you want a pick me up in the middle of the day or when you are out and about.
All the chapters are based on rewiring negative thoughts that may occur from everyday things such as not writing off the day if you have had a terrible time getting to work to acting on what you can change and not worrying about the things you can’t.
The don’t compare compare your life to imagined others really resonated with me. Lana talks about how you could be sitting on a train, looking at someone else and thinking they are having a great life but you don’t know them and this type of thinking is unhelpful. I am incredibly bad at always comparing myself to others to the extent that I make myself miserable, so to read what I do on paper did put it into perspective for me that I need to work to change my thinking regarding this.
The disadvantage of the book is that I found a lot of the examples to be too simplistic that they seemed unrealistic that the average person would stress over them. One example, Lana mentions, in the book is about you could get stressed over discontinued washing detergent. Another being what happens if the wrong food order arrives in a restaurant, therefore you now think the whole evening is ruined. You could argue that those examples are more relatable to everyone but it doesn’t work for me.
Overall the book didn’t tell me anything that I didn’t already know but it is useful as a starter book into self help or as a quick reminder.
*This book was sent for me to review but views, as always, are my own.
When Tanya Barad contacted me regarding her debut book How to Make a Decision asking me to review it, I was intrigued. My family could tell you growing up I was horrendous at making decisions. I could not make one and when I did I would change my mind all the time. It was getting to the point where I was seriously down as I could not trust myself to make the right decision. I have gotten a lot better now that I am older but I love a good self help book (read my review on The Defining Decade) so I decided to give it a shot.
Aim of How to Make a Decision
The aim of the book is to help you understand the theory and the science behind making a decision and how to apply this. Chapters 1-3 deal with the science of making a decision whilst chapters 4-17 is about how to come to a decision. Chapter 18 deals with helping someone make a decision and chapter 19 explores if you feel you have or have made the wrong decision. At the end of each chapter there is a section called Decision Time which allows you to apply what you have read with help worksheets. Worksheets include deciding if you are an audio, visual or kinaesthetic learner, seeing which bias’ you feel come naturally to you, allowing to think which environment to you make your decisions and the Johari Window to name a few.
What I learnt
- There are two popular decision making techniques called Gofer and the aptly named Decide.
- You can strengthen your decision making by planning for all possible scenarios.
- Split the negatives out to fully understand why they are negatives and how to turn the into positives or reduce the severity of the negativity.
- Talking through your decisions before making a decision is ideal.
The book contained a mixture of her own personal experiences and you can tell it was very well researched. My only criticism is that in one of the sentences it was talking about flipping a coin to make a decision and saying that is good in scenarios which have two answers and a lot of moral importance, and the example she used was deciding to have an abortion. That to me is poor taste. Other than that and a few spelling mistakes this it is a very good book to read if you struggle to make a decision.
How to Make a Decision is out now.
Hello, today I am writing about a book I brought recently in my haul called: The Defining Decade Why your Twenties Matter and How to Make the Most of them Now by Meg Jay. Meg Jay is a clinical psychologist who specialises in adult development. I don’t have any issues myself but I do love a good self-help book and the advice in them is a good reminder about how to make the most of the opportunities. This book interested me because it is specifically aimed for those in their twenties and for me heading into my late twenties. In this book she is bundles the most common issues that her clients have spoken about to help you make your descions more informed.
The book is split into three sections: Work, Love and The Brain and Body. The work section I found to be the most interesting. Since I have left University I have started a career in Marketing and am in and have had very good jobs in marketing, but I know this isn’t the case for everybody and some people reading this are lost and not sure what they want from there life, especially after University.
Meg talks about how those that came into her clinic were putting off getting a career because they wanted there own ‘Eat, Prey, Love’ moment but it doesn’t happen like that. Whilst they are waiting for this moment they are underemployed and the result is taking longer and getting harder to climb on the career ladder. She gave one example of a man who spent his twenties doing ‘dumb shit’ and now in his thirties with a child he is finding it is so much harder to get where he wants to be as he lacks the experience, which he wish he spent his twenties collecting.
Planning is another skill that Meg is keen to get across. An example she gives is of a woman who wants to have a career in law and go to University to study law and wants at thirty to have a family. However she needed to started studying as soon as possible otherwise she wouldn’t hit her timeline. By planning a bit more Meg shows that it can be possible to hit your goals.
I think with work, it became evident that you need to have confidence. I have always believed myself that you have to be ‘in it to win it’ and at the end of the day if you send that email or apply for that job and get nothing back or a rejection at least I tried. Meg empathises this in her book that it is worth trying and she cites examples of her clients that have taken the plunge and are reaping the rewards now.
The section on love, for me, I just skipped over as I didn’t find it relevant to me and the last section on The Brain and Body was not that interesting to me. I do think, if you are in your twenties and feeling a bit lost or just want a read then give it a go!
Have you read any twenty something self help books? Do you recommend any books?